Experts say one of the easiest ways to tell a child might be willing to do it alone for a short time is to ask. Most children will answer honestly. The signs that a child is scared and not yet ready are the desire to turn on all the lights, make the television roar or have nightmares. Provided you do not leave and leave your child defenseless without instruction and food, and is reasonably mature, you are unlikely to be charged with criminal negligence for leaving him alone at reasonable intervals. However, this may depend to some extent on the opinions of outsiders. The American Academy of Pediatrics lists 11 or 12 as the appropriate age to leave children at home, but only during the day and no more than about three hours. The national KIDS Safety campaign recommends leaving no child under the age of 12 alone at home. “Whaaat? It`s crazy,” says Bethany Cardwell, a mother of two under 7 who lives in Discovery Bay. “I can`t imagine leaving children under the age of 10 alone. I can`t imagine that.
“I`m probably one of those moms who would panic if they left my child home alone,” says Joy Steuerwald, a Fremont mother who has a shabby 6-year-old son, Harrison. “Twelve seems to be very good.” If your child is not willing to stay home alone, chances are there are several alternatives in your community. The Boys and Girls Club offers a variety of after-school programs to keep kids entertained until their parents get home from work. Alternatively, you can arrange childcare cooperation with other parents or sign up your child in the same sports program as a friend so they can share a ride. All the parents were already there. You have to run fast around town to pick up something like a gallon of milk, a dentist appointment, or something at work. You don`t want to bring your child, but you`re not sure you can legally leave them at home. California, like most states, doesn`t have a law that says exactly how old a child must be to stay home alone. That decision is left to the parents, and it`s a problem every family faces at some point.
Keep in mind that if your child is in trouble because you left them home alone, the law could hold you criminally and civilly liable for their actions. Allow your child to stay home alone by trying it for half an hour, then an hour, two hours, and so on. This will help calm fears and worries and build trust between the two of you. Practice what she would do in various emergency situations. Consider installing security cameras that you can monitor from your mobile phone for added security. Deborah Lohse was left home alone with her two brothers after school, starting in fourth grade. She remembers a lot of bickering and a “boat full of Brady Bunch.” She and her brothers were also tasked with preparing dinner before their people came home. But she doesn`t feel comfortable letting her 10-year-old daughter do the same. If you`re able to work or make another commitment where you can`t be with your child regularly when they get home from school, most child care experts suggest looking for an extracurricular activity they can participate in rather than leaving them to fend for themselves.
A good choice are art classes, school sports and organizations such as the Boys and Girls Club. Another option is to make an agreement with the parents of a friend of your child, where they monitor your child for a few hours each week in exchange for your other tasks. Called “turnkey children” because of the telltale key hanging around their necks, these children go home to an empty house after school or stay home alone in the summer. Some states, like California, offer little advice because there is no minimum age for children to be left home alone. The majority of states with laws cite 12 years as the limit, while some states are younger, including Maryland and Georgia at 8 and Kansas at six. Social expectations also play a role. Cardwell, Discovery Bay`s mother, remembers the neighbors` reaction when they learned that a 5-year-old girl had been left home alone. Although the child seemed satisfied with the arrangement, many neighbors felt compelled to keep an eye on her. If you think your child is mature enough to remain unsupervised, the California Department of Education sets guidelines for doing so. Write down the child`s rules and hang them in the refrigerator or in a conspicuous place so they can easily find and refer to them.
Explain what to say and do if a stranger calls or rings the doorbell. Make a list of emergency phone numbers and anything else you think is important given your personal situation. Leaving a child home alone has some benefits, said Sabrina Schuck, Ph.D., executive director of the School of Child Development at UC Irvine. Another East Bay mother, Liz Shipsides, once briefly left her 9-year-old son home alone while dropping off his siblings at school. She came home and found that he had barricaded himself in her room out of sheer terror. Schuck noted that there are unique challenges when teens are left home alone: “Poor health choices in choosing what to eat, who to let in when they`re alone, access to tobacco and alcohol.” The crucial point is that every child is different and everyone reaches the independence phase at different ages. This is one of the reasons why child psychologist Lisa Whitfield recommends promoting independence in children. This could include leaving her alone for short periods of time, starting at age 6 and gradually increasing the duration as she ages, but she cautions against expecting routine self-care. One child may be willing to stay home at age 12, while another may need to be supervised until adolescence. Ask yourself if your child keeps your word and does what they say.
When he goes out with friends, is he good at letting you know where he`s going and getting home on time? Basic fire safety training is essential, as is awareness on how to call for help in an emergency. Your child should know their address, phone number, phone number, and how to communicate with friends and family. They must be able to engage in constructive activities, know how to prepare a basic meal or snack, and not be afraid too easily. Neighborhood safety is another thing to consider, just like you know your neighbors. When in doubt, seek the advice of the pediatrician, teacher and others who know him well. On the other side of the coin, 28-year-old Cody Cook stayed home alone after school at age six because his grandparents, who raised him, both worked. He was fine. “If you feel your child is developmentally ready and meets all of these criteria and the environment is safe, that`s probably the best way to start while you`re half a mile away from the grocery store,” Schuck said. “Continue to assess your child`s comfort when left alone. Balance safety risks with your child`s independence. California does not have a law on the age at which a child is willing to stay home alone. You are confident to apply your judgment when it comes to safety and preparedness.
Although you can legally leave a child alone at home at any age, it is advisable to exercise discretion and assess your child`s maturity and development. Of course, the idea of leaving a first-grader home alone seems crazy to some parents.